9+ hour, 44+ min ago  (382+ words) Just peachy" Things are going well" not! Very cherry" You've got a pit in your stomach. Basically banana" Today feels like your day. You weren't ready yesterday, tomorrow's not guaranteed, but today? Your golden window of opportunity. You're basically banana....

5+ mon, 1+ week ago  (489+ words) Behold! The McSweeney's Advent Calendar: your new favorite holiday tradition, now available for preorder! Use strong white flour for a superior product. Mix lukewarm water, oil, salt, and vinegar. Nothing breaks down bonds within gluten like acid. In the final…...